Shark! Ok, enough pictures for now, sorry about the darkness of the photos, but I'm sure you'll cope.

Holy Cow! They are huge, healthier looking than the people, but all they seem to do is eat is cardboard and drink from the open sewers... The stray dogs seem to look up to them though and occasionally lick them affectionally.  

The southernmost tip of India where 3 seas meet (I foolishly tried to swim here, as you can imagine, the currents are a bit dodgy)  

mmm, a mango smoothie. 

The ancient (and lovely) alice aunty 

Fresh nutmeg (it looks so exciting!) from an uncle's garden. 

AFC, Asian Fried Chicken, the cockerel's secret recipe. Even better was Nepal's 'YakDonalds', but I haven't got the photo on me now. 

Jack pretending to be dead in front of the Taj Mahal (its a mausoleum after all). [there's something wrong with the computer, all the photos are coming out far too dark, oh well.] 

Michael the Sikh/Pirate outside the golden temple at night (incidentally Mann is a Sikh surname)(and it looks far too dark and Im not sure why) 

Ouch!

A rickshaw ran over my little toe this morning. And he only gave me a 5 rupee discount for it!
I also saw a wonderful fort and pretended I was rich so that I could look round the rooms and pool of a 5* hotel (a converted maharaja's palace).

But Im mainly writing to say that I just spent 2hr30 minutes trying to put photos up, the first computer after downloading the programme turned out had no CD drive, the second, after downloading the programme, decided it couldn't read my CD, the third computer works fine but now there are problems with the site for downloading the programme. So I will draw you a picture instead.

"@_
( an indian snail)

michael x

India's 58th birthday was yesterday

At the moment I am in the deserty area of India, in the North west, where the heat seems to have affected the speed of the internet connection. I struggled for 2.5 hours the other day to get some photos up for you, but crashes and slow download speeds left really wore me down and I a broken man. I'll try in Delhi.

It is very dry here, save for the pool of sweat that forms around you when you leave the hotel room, but also very pretty. I went on a camel safari for a few days. Camels and crocodiles were my favourite animals when I was little, and I still find them very exciting, but they are painful to ride (though I imagine crocodiles are worse). It didn't help that I got put on the mad camel that tried to throw me off several times before being taken away. In between the riding we spent a lot of time sleeping, watching dung beetles (amazing) and playing epic games of travel scrabble.

Dung Beetles remind me of something else I forgot to tell you earlier. After a week of temples of taj mahals when Jack and I returned to Delhi we were slightly sick of culture, too much can be dangerous. Looking for antidotes in the Lonely Planet I found out that quite near my uncles house was the 'International Museum of Toilets'. It actually took me an hour to get there but it was worth it (i have free toilet history CDs and books now). The staff were ridiculously enthusiastic about toilets, 'ask me any question about toilets, anything!' said my guide. Did you know that in Rome they used live baby ducks instead of toilet paper? Did you know there is a toilet that microwaves excreta into ash? But best of all, was their canteen, which they proudly explained was powered by human excreta biogas. I didn't eat there.

Anyway, back to deserts. After the camel safari I was concerned by the persistence of mosquito bites on my feet that perhaps weren't mosquito bites (they seem to come when I wear socks rather than leave them uncovered, and had been there on an off for 4 weeks...medic students, diagnoses welcomes). So I went to see the local skin specialist Doctor Bumb (the last b is silent). Michael: "thanks for prescription, but well, that fee is double what it says on the door' Doctor Bumb: "Michael, Michael, Michael. [he rubs his hands together] Do you know what corruption is?' Michael: 'yes...' Dr Bumb 'Now, do you know where India ranks in terms of corruption? No? Very high, perhaps one of the highest in the world. But don't worry, I won't charge you extra for this, this lesson is free.'

Less innocent, but with rapidly recovering feet (hooray) I caught night train to Jaisalmer. Sharing a compartment with someone who looked like the liver stealing man from the X-files, I did not sleep too great, kept checking my bag (and liver) was still there. But was woken up by views of sand dunes and a stream of beggars, the first did a sang and danced a lively jig played to a funky beat made by 2 wooden spoons. She got a rupee for putting me in a good mood. Drifting back to sleep, I was later woken up by metal-tracheotomy-man, leaning over me and hissing and dribbling in my face, who I gave a a rupee to out of sheer terror. The man with no legs, the man with a withered arms and the 2nd wooden spoon lady with baby did not get anything. Its realy sad, I know some of them earn a lot of money begging, but most of the time these people are very poor and there isn't state support or many charities like in England. But you can't give money to them all, and it tends to be a little random who I give them too, because its too draining if you think about it too much.

With only 7 days to go, am trying to decide whether to stay in desert or to run away to the hills to swim in holy rivers, any views?

A day in the life of Michael the Tourist

(thought it might give a different perspective from my normal hyper condensed accounts)

Wake up in seaside town of Mahabalipuram (they all have long difficult names) in 2 quid a night hotel that has a swimming pool (therefore i am happy). Jump in pool for pre-breakfast swim only to be told they've just put bleach in and to get out (skin felt a bit funny anyway). Go to restaurant for breakfast and enquire about yoga lesson, the lady asks if i want 'plain yoga, banana yoga or yoga with muesli'. Am feeling healthy so go for banana and muesli yoga with papaya lassi.

Track down a real yoga master (kept expecting to find out at the last minute he was a yoghurt guru, who would show me how to curdle milk), with lovely new bamboo ashram. Ask how he got it, 'I am very lucky. The tsunami destroyed the previous hotel and the owners had to leave'. So relaxed I fell asleep in meditation bit, apparently am flexible but need to sit up straighter. Meet some tsunami volunteers in the bank, who have been waiting 3 days for money because the bank has run out, but luckily it came today. After much deliberation i swap my hard back edition of Harry Potter 6 for 2 other books (indian lady in store actually whoops with delight once transaction is finished).

Then on way back to pool turns out a huge dead shark has been washed up on the beach, all cartilagenous and face down, it doesn't look evil and man eating which is comforting because i was swimming there yesterday. Sit on it and take pictures. Man tries to sell me traditional paintings and when i refuse he whips out his x-rated traditional kama sutra paintings... no comment on whether i bought them.Bumped into my friend krishna the masseuse (who cured me of my writers block previously and decided to have a final massage. This is the life. (though level of nakedness required is bit disconcerting).

Hopped on extremely crowded bus, refusing the numerous 3 wheel auto-rickshaws (because they have no doors and the other day stinky road puddle water was splashed into my mouth by one, which was very very gross and probably dangerous, but luckily have not died yet). Cousin is too hungover to pick me up from bus station so his friend does (on someone random friend’s motorbike, they just circulate them here, they have a different one each day). We chill out listening to hindi, malayali, tamil and english musics from there extremely untidy but cosy student flat, which is almost exactly like my brother jack’s except for their daily squabbles over who gets to use the ‘western style’ toilet and who gets stuck with the indian squat toilet (my cousin claims his weak achilles tendon means he can only use western one for medical reasons…).
Michael x

Ayurvedics Anonymous

ok, I have had a bit of writers block since the last entry in Nepal, which I blame entirely on a terrible Ayurvedic head massage in north india (ayurveda can be dangerous apparently if misapplied), from which I've only just recovered...

(I've put good and bad things in so you don't feel too jealous.)

1. First 2 weeks spent with my brother jack in north india. First we went to Dharamsala, home of Dalai Lama in the mountains. positives (+) Slightly illegally sneaking into teaching session, then getting a wave and benevolent smile from dalai. Washing clothes in stream outside our idyllic mountain hostel. negatives:(-) Turning round to find goats trying to eat my laboriously washed underwear. Not willing to risk goaty pants I took them to a shop to be 'properly' washed by machines.

2. We also went to Agra, home of taj mahal (+): for Jack's 24th birthday we splashed out and went to 5* hotel for swim and massage and then to taj mahal. negatives (-): Pool tasted and smelled of varnish of the newly done up pool house, masseuse/pool lifeguard/pool cleaner gave head massage which involved pulling out most of my hair, squashing my brain (it really hurt!) and then i had to pay extra to have stinky oil/vinegar rubbed into my hair that left me red eyed and squinty. (+)taj mahal was very very beautiful at sunset, (-)hard to appreciate with squashed brain, squinty eyes, and self concious of having greasiest hair in world.

3. before the Taj Mahal, in fact, went to Punjab, Sikh heartland (+) Sikh Golden Temple is beautiful, golden, shimmery and in middle of lovely lake, next to which everyone just chills out there late into evening (including jack and I), and they give you free food accomodation and a temporary turban. (-) Afterwards an itchy michael worried that turban had nits in it.

Umm. So there was mildly chronological, good and bad things. Now (as I fend off mosquitos from my bare legs) I'll go for some unequivocally bad things.

4. Mosquitos: I could write a whole email about these, but essentially, after a week in lovely south india I had more bites on each hadn than fingers (actually, 10 on one hand and 8 on the other, so way more). I started spotting constellations, I was one bite short of the 'big dipper'. one of my doctor uncles admitted that recent years have seen mosquitos go from pesky buzzing blood suckers to silent, practically invisible, cold blooded hunters. He speculated either an evolutionary leap or a new form of biological warfare from China. (they carry resistant malaria and elephantiasis among other things down here).

5. Power Cuts: These are not romantic (especially not when you're travelling with your brother and silent mosquitos) as some people think. Rather, it means that a) at night the fan and AC that you splashed out for don't work and you cook slowly b) you have to be extra careful about putting your shaving razor and your torch in the same backpack side pocket (yes, this happened, as my poor knuckles will testify. but in nepal, i just forgot to mention it last time).

Ok, enough being miserable, because I'm actually very happy. Its just that somehow its harder to explain the good stuff. But i'll try some unequivocally good things. And also because they far outnumber bad things so I'm not sure where to start.

6. Relatives in South India: I have relatives everywhere, and they are wonderful and loving, and cook tasty food, and have great names like 'diamond' 'baby' 'prince' 'Dr. Annie' and the rest are called 'walsa' or 'rohit'. I have had to go into hiding from them a little, because otherwise I would not get to email you or have any free time. But I'll really miss them.

Actually, i'll leave it at that, because my legs are getting bitten, I should have worn trousers. Such is life near the equator. I have a lot more to write, which I will do over the next couple of days. I'm back on August 24th though, which is both sad, but also I am looking forward to seeing everyone.

lots of love
Michael x
p.s. will try get some photos up too, but that is a serious undertaking.